‘We Must Console Kevin!’: GH Bachelorettes
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The Black Stars of Ghana arrive in Accra tonight after being ousted from the World Cup tournament in their controversial and exciting math against Uruguay. After winning fans all over the sub-continent and internationally, they adopted the nick-name ‘The Black Stars of Africa’, as they carried the hopes of 52 nations on their backs. After facing an jaw dropping defeat meted out by the Uruguay team, one player in particular sought to console his team mates. That man was Kevin Prince-Boateng, the 23 year old forward on the squad.
After Asamoah Gyan pinged the ball off the cross bar and John Mensah casually lobbed the ball into the Uruguayan goal keepers arms, the game came to an end following a disappointing penalty shoot out. Gyan wept bitterly after the final whistle was blown and the other Stars knelt on the pitch in angst. Only Prince was seen circling his team mates, yelling “It’s ok! It’s OKAY!!”, embracing them with brotherly compassion. It was a heart rending sight, and one that did not go unnoticed by Ghana’s female populace.
In a few hours, women from Accra, Tema, La and all the metropolis’ environs will descend upon the airport in their best dresses, reeking of Sunlight soap and lavender. Some who could not wait arrived early with home made signs reading both encouraging and outrageous phrases such as: ‘You are Africa’s Prince!’, and ‘Let me rock your Boat-eng tonight!’
The need to console Mr. Boateng was recognized and organized by Tema native, Nana Abynnah, who noted that it was of national importance that he know that the youth, and young women in particular in, were behind him and were here to offer their support. She poo-pooed the notion that such lavish attention was being focused on him solely because he was the sexiest member of the team.
“Didn’t you see what I saw? Herh?”, she queried. “Prince was consoling the WHOLE team…alone! Who was there for him? I and the other ladies of this community will show our support for him by offering our breasts as a resting place for his weary forehead - and I will be in the front of the line.”
Such patriotism is uncommon in this day and age. To many of the elderly it is reminiscent of the (s)heroism of World War I, when many of Africa’s young men were recruited to fight in Europe, leaving young women behind to carry on back home. Madam Sampaa, an 88 widow is reliving those days through her great-grand daughter, who was off purchasing a red weave for Prince at the time of this interview.
“Me kraaa, I wish I could go,” she said wistfully. “But I’m afraid the boy may get lost in the folds of my bobbies.”
She noted that she was proud of the young women arriving to welcome the bravest member of the team. When asked if they should be concerned about what Prince-Boateng’s wife might think about the over-exuberant estrogen gawkers, Madam Sampaa was less than charitable.
“If she has a problem, she should get-out!,” she barked suddenly. “This is about Ghana…and what we are doing to show our appreciation for this brave…attractive…muscular young man.”
She smacked her lips hungrily, making our team really (really) uncomfortable and signaling then end of the interview. Tune in for a live broadcast of the welcome on local stations this evening.
