UK Citizens: Don’t Breathe Up All Our Air!
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West Africa – Citizens of the United Kingdom have become increasingly alarmed by the number of immigrants wantonly entering the country. They are demanding that the government do something to stem the tide of wave after wave of Black immigrants. The fear, according to the polls, is that Africans will breathe up all the White man’s air.
Citing a desire to escape the grim economic hardships that weigh them down on the continent, African immigrants for their part have expressed sympathy for their “host” nation’s concerns, but are sorrowful that they can do nothing about it.
“The fact is, we need air to breathe, and we need to breathe to do our work,” said a street sweeper from Guinea. “I don’t know what the (British) government would have us do.”
There is plenty that can be done, according to an English embassy official.
“There is no mincing words about it,” said Sam Smith, an embassy PR officer on the continent. “The fact is, Africans have extremely wide noses, and they will (probably) breathe up all our air if we let them onto our shores unchecked.”
Mr. Smith says the diplomatic corps has proposed the following: African immigrants will have to undergo reconstructive surgery to narrow their nostrils, or pay a visa fee of $1400 before entering the country legally.
“Any African caught with broad nostrils or without the proper documentation will be deported immediately. The British people are a welcoming lot, but there is one thing we cannot do without: air.”
English air is some of the finest on the globe, with purity quality second only to that of Calcutta. It is understandable why they would want to take such measures to preserve it for their citizenry.
