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Obama Reacts to Being Called a ‘House Negro’

Published: November 21, 2008
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Early this week Al-Qaida’s second in command, Ayman al-Zawahri, called Barack Obama a “house negro” (and nigger) in a video posted online. al-Zawahri said Obama is “the direct opposite of honorable black Americans” like Malcolm X, the 1960s African-American rights leader.

Duty compelled us to track down Barak, who has given our reporters special access to him, day or night, because WE are Africa’s Most Outstanding Source for News and Information. We found him burning off steam on a basketball court and asked him what his reactions were to these insults.

The president elect called time out and put down his cigarette to talk to us. Being the brilliant speaker he is, we thought it best to give you his words, verbatim.

First of all, let me say to the world that at least I am not some towel head, sand digger hiding in caves and making videos…like a little video ho’. I mean, is “house negro” the best he could come up with? Let me remind Mr. al-Za-what-a-ho that I run the house. I tell white people what to do.

The only reason this little Arab sand byiatch would try to step to me like that is because he don’t know me. My middle name is Hussein, nigga. Do you really think I won’t find you and gut you like the cattle that you are? I will go all kinds of medieval/tribal Kenyan on YOOUUU!

(Obama then broke out into the Soulja Boy dance)

Don’t let the suits and the “good hair” fool you. I’m crazy as h*ll.


With that, he picked up the rest of his burning cigarette and commanded the b-ball team to get in position. After netting the ball from half court, Obama invited us to let al-Zawahri (that ho) know that he could suck “these house nuts”.

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