Earth to Kubolor: I Go Wound you!
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The Center of the Earth – In a recent internet interview, Wanlov the Kubolor gave a passionate explanation for why he does not wear shoes. The hip-life rapper from Ghana, who is notorious for wearing nothing but a skirt, roams the globe barefoot (and bare bummed, presumably) under the presumption that the Earth is not here to harm him.
“People ask me why I feel so comfortable to go barefoot,” he said slowly. “They say ‘Ah, but the ground is dirty or something may chook your leg.’ We all came from the Earth. We are born from it, we get our food from it, and we will return to it. I do not believe that this same Earth which sustains me would set out to hurt me.”
The Earth, upon hearing this news, had a dissenting view.
“That nigga don’t know me!” the Earth cried when we asked for its reaction. “Niggaz like Kubolor think they ‘can’ me. Humph. I here to tell them that they CAN’T me, and they can NEVER ME!”
To demonstrate its power, the Earth caused a volcano erupted in Iceland at that moment. Little puffin birds went scattering everywhere.
“I got lava in my veins son! Cockroaches carry hundreds of diseases…who do you think they got them from?”
“From…”
“From tha EARTH, nigga- THA EARTH! Who is the Earth? I AM the Earth!”
Vowing to show Kubolor, the sentimental doe-eyed rapper, where the power lies, the Earth told MB the following:
“I go wound that boy. Herh. He doesn’t know me eh? I go show him wear the power lies.”
The Earth did not say what it had planned for Wanlov, but did indicate that by Christmas 2012, the rapper will be wearing leather soled boots by the time it’s done with him.
Eish. Wanlov, we beg…watch your side!
