MJ’s passing away highlights Ghana for a day
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Volta Region, Ghana - When Michael Jackson died on June 25th, the world mourned, and when he was buried a week later, the whole world watched.
The King of Pop, the greatest entertainer who ever lived, lay in a glittery gold casket as celebrities, politicians and commoners alike saluted him and sang his virtues. Throughout the televised program, there was one thing that did not escape many Africans who shared in the memorial: The three mentions of Ghana by CNN commentators, Queen Latifah and Rev Al Sharpton. Africans (or at least those who can count), believe in numerology, and so it was up to the soothsayers to sort out the meaning of the scattered “shout outs” to this small West African country.
It turns out Michael Jackson was actually an Ewe.
“Ewe girls are very fair skinned,” explained one prominent togbe from Atiavi. “And those who aren’t like to do skin bleaching. Whether Michael did bleaching or his skin became fair from virti-what-what, ‘ey know, that disease, it doesn’t matter. He was fair like an Ewe.”
Ewes are also known for their intricate dance moves employing wildly waving arms and quick moving feet. On any given afternoon, you can also hear an Ewe matriarch screaming “Ooooohhh!!!” in frustration at her wards. These are synonymous with Michael’s style and his ever popular “Hoooo!!!” (accompanied with a cloud of smoke and burst of wind).
Ewes, like raccoons, also like shiny things. Michael was the shiniest ayigbe man of them all: from the glittery socks, the sparkling glove, and finally, his glistening casket.
It’s ok MJ. We have heard your message from beyond the grave, letting us and the world know via CNN who you really were. Your ancestral tribesmen are proud to welcome you into Heaven with hot abolo and okro soup at the gates.
