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Gov’t to Passengers: Help us Get Better Airline Service

There is no question that when it comes to providing customer service to African markets, the airline as an industry does its very best to reduce satisfaction levels. When it comes to Africa, it’s best not to deliver your best. That’s what the world expects.

Georgia Woos Immigrants with Cotton Picking Simulator

Civic leaders have begun to woo poor immigrants from West Africa with promises of food, shelter and clothing if they are willing to participate to their Cotton Picking Program in exchange for these items.

Access to Swiss Bank Accounts Causes Delight, Distress

In C.A.R., the political elite and merchant classes are actually rich enough to afford space boots. In fact, it’s rumored that with the money they have siphoned off from the poor and IMF, they actually DO vacation in space.

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Recalled Toys Shipped to Grateful African Children

Published: August 07, 2008
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Any Village, Africa - Africa’s children have something to celebrate this month. In a stunning move of generosity, the Chinese government has shipped millions of recalled toys to Africa’s shores, ringing in the yuletide season early.

“With AIDS, malaria and war rampant on the continent, we figured high levels of lead would be the least of their worries,” says Bu Chang Lee. “Also, it’s part of
our bi-lateral trade plans with Africa’s government leaders. They are required to buy a certain number of soft goods from us in return for the infrastructure we provide. When you think about it, America did us a favor with all the recalls.”

Giggling toddlers clutching contaminated Dora the Explorer dolls look on as their older siblings get creative with brand new lead-based paint kits. They are touching to watch. One six year old boy began to show symptoms of being affected by the lead, as he began to convulse violently while riding in a wagon tainted with cherry-red paint. 

Local officials brushed aside the incident.

“It’s for the greater good. Look at the smiles on these children’s faces. Would you take that away just because continuous exposure may cause damage to the:

Nervous system
• Encephalopathy [brain disease]
• Acute encephalopathy
• Alters function of developing brain
• Alters electroencephalogram
• Convulsions
• Cerebral Palsy
• Neurotransmitter release disrupted

Peripheral nervous system
• Peripheral nerve disturbances [reduced touch sensitivity]
• Slowed nerve conduction velocity [decreased reaction times]
• Foot/ hand drop
• Proprioreceptive pathways involved in balance altered
• Dizziness

Growth & development
• Delayed neurodevelopment [e.g. in sitting up, walking, talking]
• Stature and growth rate reduction
• Impaired pituitary-thyroid endocrine system
• Osteoporosis in later years
• Weight loss

Cognitive development
• I.Q. levels decrease
• Cognitive function deficits
• Verbal function / linguistic deficits
• Learning difficulties
• Decreased educational performance
• Decreased reading, maths, non-verbal reasoning ability & short term memory, even at blood lead levels less than 10µg/dL
• Autism in genetically predisposed individuals with metallothionein dysfunction

Behaviour
• Aggression, violence, hostility, anti-social or delinquent behaviour
• Attention problems; distractibility, restlessness
• Externalising and internalising behaviours
• Hyperactive behaviours, difficult to manage
• Inappropriate / uncontrolled behaviours similar to ADD behaviours, increased frequency
• Irritability
• Lethargy
• Increased school absenteeism

Hearing
• Hearing impairment; auditory sensitivity decreased
• Auditory evoked response patterns altered
• Auditory processing altered

Sight
• Retinal degeneration
• Depressed sensitivity of rod photoreceptors
• Perceptual function deficits
• Visuo-spatial skills deficit [eg jigsaws]

Movement and muscular
• Visual-motor skills deficits [hand-eye coordination]
• Fine motor dysfunction
• Motor function deficits
• Impaired muscular strength and endurance
• Paralysis
• Somatic complaints [aches and pains]

Digestive system
• Impaired Vitamin D metabolism [affecting bone remodelling, mineral absorption and calcium uptake]
• Colic
• Loss of appetite
• Vomiting
• Constipation, diarrhoea, anorexia
• Abdominal cramps


Renal (kidneys), blood and circulation
• Renal disease – acute nephropathy
• Queensland nephritis
• Anaemia

Death?

You shouldn’t do that. I can’t do that…it’s just cruel and unconscionable.”

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