Hoteliers Lure Foreigners with Feral Chickens
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Congo – Major Lissouba is a simple man with simple needs. As a luxury hotelier in the D.R. of Congo, he simply needs more white people to stay in his 4 bedroom hotel. The war in the Congo and the U.S. advisory telling all foreign nationals to enter the Congo at their own peril has dealt a mighty blow to this entrepreneur’s endeavors.
Just when Mr. Lissouba was about to give up and lock up 3 of the 4 bedrooms of his hotel (which is actually a house some Frenchmen abandoned when the war started), he saw a program on the Travel Channel that not only gave him hope, but an idea as well.
“As I viewed the TV, I saw white people in the Caribbean, scuba diving for their own lobsters,” he tells us. “After they captured the sea creatures, the ocean guides would take the lobster back to the hotel, where a gourmet chef would grill the catch for them and serve it for dinner.”
Mr. Lissouba was amazed at how much white people would pay to catch their own food.
“Upwards of $300 a night,” he exclaimed.
Well, why couldn’t he do the same thing in his town, Bumba? For starters, Bumba is land locked, so deep sea diving was out. It was however situated next to the Congo River, but the water is murky and tainted with the blood of dead bodies from wars past. That would only scare the white people further. After 15 minutes of inner debate and conflict, Major Lissouba felt a golden inspiration flooding his body. He would charge white people to catch chickens in his front yard and have his wife fry the meat for them. After doing a gleeful jig, he changed his wet pants and proceeded with the marketing.
After herding feral chickens from the countryside into his yard and contracting with local militia to shoot at the white people chasing them (for an added authentic Central African experience), he aggressively campaigned to make Hotel Bumba a prime destination spot. So far, only one traveler has taken up residence at the hotel, but the $50 a month he pays Mr. Lissouba for lodging has provided an immense boost to his coffers.
How is Lissouba feeling about life and the hotel business these days?
“Life is good now,” said Major. “At night, when I hear gun shots, I no longer have to fear. The sound of gunfire now means meat on the table and money in my pocket, courtesy of that blonde haired back-packer sweating profusely in my yard.”
